Kyrsten Sinema Officially Swings Both Ways
Is she the worst queer person to hold political power since James Buchanan? Hard to say!
Kyrsten Sinema, the woman singlehandedly keeping alive the lie that bisexuals can’t be trusted, announced Friday morning that she intends to leave the Democratic Party and register as an Independent.
It’s a stunning revelation… insofar as I’m stunned a news item that’s ostensibly such a big deal is actually far, far more irritating than it is in any way consequential.
In an interview with POLITICO, the first-term Senator revealed that despite her announcement — and an accompanying campaign-style video posted to her Twitter account — she fully plans to keep caucusing with Democrats. So, Chuck Schumer and company will indeed enjoy the power to control Senate committees as expected.
According to Sinema, “nothing will change about my values or my behavior.” Rest assured, from her performative disdain for minimum wage workers to her Anime wig fetish, she’ll continue being just as vile as ever.
In short, her departure from the Democratic Party should be viewed as less an ideological evolution than an out-and-out audition for the third season of HBO’s The White Lotus, perhaps the only setting where capricious bouts of vanity and may-I-speak-to-the-manager energy are appreciated more than the U.S. Senate.
No, in reality, this is all a calculated, choreographed gambit to stay in power. Her antics over the last few years have inspired more than a few calls for Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-AZ) or another more progressive alternative to mount a primary challenge in 2024. With this pivot-in-name-only (a PINO, not unlike her favorite wine) Sinema all but ensures she remains in office, as a three-way race in the general election would almost certainly hand the seat to a Republican — likely the high priestess of MAGA herself, Kari Lake.
What’s the expression? A conceited, foul, generally infuriating bird in the hand is worth two in the bush… especially when some birds in the bush are fascist.
Now, it’s worth noting that Sinema’s fans (all seven of them) will claim this move, while irksome, is perhaps the most surefire way of keeping a tried and true liberal ally in the Senate. After all, she voted to convict Donald Trump in both impeachment trials, helped push two major Democratic party-line bills through Congress, and remains a prominent advocate for LGBTQ+ rights all while still resisting the smear of a leftist reputation in a purple state like Arizona. Who’s to say if a more openly progressive candidate like Gallego wouldn’t just lose to a Kari Lake in the general??
I’m to say. I am the captain now.
If this year’s midterm cycle shows us anything, it’s the Arizona Republican Party is a frothing mess. Democrats swept all but one of AZ’s statewide races, and instead of engaging in an election postmortem, GOP leaders on the ground are still caught in a conservative pissing contest between Trump loyalists and the McCain family.
Unfortunately, with Sinema’s PINO, Democrats now likely won’t be able to capitalize on that chaos, and we’ll be stuck with a Senator whose guiding philosophy has effectively become one step removed from sheer nihilism.
I conclude this debut screed with a short, telling vignette provided by The New York Times’ Michelle Goldberg in October of last year:
You either die a protestor outside a Tucson hotel or live long enough to see yourself become Joe Lieberman.
XOXO
-Pundit Twink